He Really Is Bringing Us Together

I know people from all across the political spectrum. And, I must confess, when my progressive friends touted Pres. Obama as being the one who would bring this country together, I was skeptical. I remained skeptical for what I thought were good reasons until very recently. But a spirit of unity is sweeping through the land and I would be foolish not to acknowledge it.

Absolutely no one I know is in favour of intervening in Syria. And I know some genuine troglodytes on the right and rabid progressives on the left. Not one of them is for it.

God bless you President Obama. It took you seven years but you have pulled us all together.

The Importance Of An Advanced Degree

When I was a baby lawyer, fresh from law school and was eager and even enthusiastic, I lived in rural South Georgia. As the youngest attorney in my county I was appointed to defend every felon who could not afford an attorney. This brief excursion has left me with a rich storehouse of criminal law stories.

Typically, I would be appointed at arraignment, after the judge heard the accused's plea. The plea was almost always 'not guilty'. I'd then jot down my new client's name and make arrangements with the Sheriff to interview him at the jail. I'd also fill in the blanks on a bunch of defense counsel motions that I would hand to the assistant DA before I left for lunch. Generally he had what I filed for already and simply gave me a copy.

After lunch, I'd sign out of the office and walk the two blocks to the jail. A deputy would bring my clients to me one at a time and lock them in a cell with me. Armed with the documents the ADA gave me, I'd interview the client. I always let them tell me what they thought happened. That gave me a good feel for how credible my client was as a witness.

Nine out of ten times I would hear a cock and bull story that usually ran along the lines of my client was just sitting in his friend's car when his friend, Red, went into the convenience store and emerged five minutes later with a bunch of money. Red then drove away at high speed, but bailed out right before the police pulled the car over. My client then had to switch to the driver's seat to stop the car. I heard this story or one very similar a lot.

I used to joke with the Sheriff as to how bad a job he was doing, what with Red staying on the loose and all.

Now what made this exercise particularly awful was that I would usually have my client's signed confession, in his own handwriting, right below where he had copied out his Miranda warning in longhand. You see, the DA had to give me copies of any statements my client made to the police. That was part of the documents the ADA handed to me.

One time, my client grabbed the confession from me and ripped it into shreds. I then had to explain to him that all he had done was tear up my copy. The DA still had the original.

My criminal clients would get arrested, confess and then stew in jail for days or even weeks because they couldn't make bail. That gave them plenty of time to work on a more palatable version of events. The longer they simmered, the more passionate they became about their personal fairytale.

When I left South Georgia to be a big city tax attorney, I thought I would never hear such spin again. Until today, I was right. The Most Reverend Katharine Jefferts Schori and Bonnie Anderson have topped even the most fantastical of my rural felons.

I guess it pays to have a graduate degree, even in fantasy.

More Inspiration From Broadway

Linda Eder sings 'I Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha'. This and 'Impossible Dream' qualify on the short list for rousingest anthems. There's currently quite the debate as to who sang better, Richard Kiley or Brian Stokes Mitchell. Linda Eder is here by way of a compromise. All three versions are terrific. And doesn't she have a wonderful voice?

How to Tell When You Have Finally Lost Your Mind

When I woke up this morning, I spent a good ten minutes lying in bed pondering whether or not I could grill bacon. Testosterone poisoning or dementia? Only time will tell.

Update: The bacon went from raw to pure carbon in three minutes. What a great grill! :)

Stress

Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more free videos

Folks seem divided as whether this is real or a fake. The lack of cords on the monitors does seem to indicate fakery, but on the other hand, it looks awfully real.

{H/T The Lobster Pot}

Episcopal Derangement Syndrome

Back in the Clinton Presidency, I had some friends that basically came unhinged at the very mention of the phrase "President Clinton". More recently, my neighbour across the street starts foaming at the mouth at the mention of "President Bush". He is a nice guy and a good neighbour, he just can not mentally handle our current President.

It would appear that the current litigation is affecting the Rev. Terry Martin, who blogs over at Father Jake Stops the World. In a comment thread, he wrote "So, Peter Akinola not only gets to terrorize Nigerians, he also gets to steal American property? I don't think so."

Unfortunately, it's neither his place, nor my place, nor your place, Dear Reader, to decide that issue. It is in the hands of a judge. Also, there having been no warrants sworn or criminal charges made, the use of the word theft in the preceding passage is inaccurate at best and libelous at worst.

I think perhaps the good reverend and his followers might want to take a break from the litigation and bake bread or walk a labyrinth or something. If any of them are here in Atlanta, they can use my garden and pull weeds. I've always found pulling weeds to be excellent therapy for any anger or frustration I might be feeling. Just drop me a line and I'll set you up with gloves and anything else you might need.

Oh and Bill Clinton was our President and George Bush is our President. Get over it.


Addendum: It appears that the Rev. Martin has a garden of his own, or practices some other excellent form of anger management. Kudos to him!