For Christopher Johnson

Now is the Time to Dance

Friday Morning Palate Cleanser

The original is by Sufjan Stevens. He is well worth checking out if you've never heard of him.

Guilt

Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian

10. No snake handling.
9. You can believe in dinosaurs.
8. Male and female God created them; male and female we ordain them.
7. You don’t have to check your brains at the door.
6. Pew aerobics.
5. Church year is color-coded.
4. Free wine on Sunday.
3. All of the pageantry—none of the guilt.
2. You don’t have to know how to swim to get baptized.
And the Number One Reason to be an Episcopalian:
1. No matter what you believe, there’s bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

Many people have seen the list. Many, including myself, have laughed at it. But when I was re-reading #3, something struck me. If the Episcopal Church is guilt-free, then it must be missing something else as well. As my readers know, I've been pondering Martha Stout's book for quite a while.

All mature humans are riddled with guilt. If you do not feel the heavy load of guilt from time to time, then you have what is known as sociopathy. Only sociopaths are truly guilt free. Being guilt free often sounds lovely to me, but there is a very high cost paid for that freedom. Sociopaths can not love. They can feel love for others or feel that they are being loved. They have an inability to stay on mission and tend to flit from one activity to another, mostly because of tedium and boredom. For humans, we can not be freed from guilt without being freed from love. For most of us, that is a bargain we gladly accept.

Institutionally though, if being an Episcopalian means being freed from guilt, doesn't that disconnect us from love as well? And doesn't being a guiltless church mean it is also loveless?

I know many good Episcopalians. I'm related to quite a few. But a Church with a guilt-free mindset is a Church in trouble. More on that to follow.

Hey, Whatever Works

Researchers have found that sex ed delays teenagers from having sex. It seems to be irrelevant what sort of sex education it is, as well.

Everyone else may be baffled by this, but I know why. When I was a teen, I found everything taught to me in school to be dull and tedious. For example, I loathed Jane Austin for years as she was required reading in the ninth grade. If you teach teens about sex, they will believe it to be dull and tedious.

Maybe we ought to teach them about drugs as well. Require instruction in Heroin and I can practically guarantee no one will ever become a junkie.

Not Really Much of a Shock

Let's Get Political, Political! I Wanna Get Political

Or maybe not. I was mulling over my primary choices. As an independent I'm basically free in my state to vote in either primary. Then something occurred to me. I don't like Ron Paul. Shocking but true, I know. Please allow me to explain. I don't like his name. He has two first names. In my line of work, people who have two first names and no proper last name are troublesome.

Second and most importantly he either sounds like a purveyor of coconut clad chocolates, which I can't have because I'm diabetic, or he sounds like a second rate porn star.

I don't know where my readers stand, but I refuse to support a man who makes obscene candies. Even if they do have coconut. Besides his candies would be little and sweaty and that's just plain gross.

I firmly believe that Presidential candidates should come fully equipped with proper last names and share any foods they may make.

For those who don't remember the seventies, the title of this article refers to this song.

Side note: Given that Hillary and Bill didn't inhale, would it really be safe to accept brownies from Senator Clinton?

Today the Third Grade, Tomorrow the World

You know, this explains a great deal about just what exactly that toy line is about.

Phrase of the Day

Oh, they're going with the pixie dust theory. Read the whole thing. Economics snark truly is the best kind of snark there is.

More Holiday Cheer!

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

Merry Tossmas!

For the Spanish speakers, Feliz Navitoss

Finally a holiday I can celebrate with a clear conscience and joy in my heart!


Hat tip Dean Munday.

I wish it really were a movie

Heck, I wish George Martin would hurry up and finish it.

The Woes of Mortgages

Once Again, Texas Leads the Way

In Honor of 'Return of the King'

This is just too cool

The world's smallest Advent calendar.

My New Fave Christmas Carol

Depression

I've just finished reading some 42 posts from two separate mailing list (HoBD and Magdalen). The people who post on the lists are, in general, good people. They are caring people, good Episcopalians who are committed to what they see as the good of the church.

But most of them are not Christians. They think of themselves as Christians, but they are not. I know that the critique of the statement I just made is "who are you to judge"? I am a Christian. And I do not damn anyone. But part of being a follower of Christ is knowing who, based upon their words and actions, are also fellow followers.

My criteria: If you can say the Apostles and the Nicene Creed without reservation, without quibble or redefinition and mean them and practice them, then you are a Christian. It's the historic test. It's the traditional test. And not many of the leadership appear to qualify.

And so I'm depressed. I'd love to read a post affirming Christ's resurrection in real, historic and physical terms. I'd love to read an acknowledgment of what it truly means to be a sinner in a sinful world and therefore redeemed by the God's sacrifice. I'd like to know that the people I'm reading consider Rowan Williams' theology to be other than 'magical nonsense'.

Show Me The Money (Part 2)

Part 1 of the series appears here

The triennial budget approved by the 2006 General Convention (GC) allocated some $49,458,711 in expenses. Not bad for a church with an ASA below 600,000. That's about $82 per average attendee.

The budget as approved by the GC included $35,000 per year for the chancellor (the Presiding Bishop's (PB) legal advisor) and $100,000 per year for “Title IV Investigation & Trials"(Title IV) (this is the estimated cost of finding out about and punishing wayward clergy). Total legal expenses allocated for 2007 were $135,000. As a percent of budget legal fees and expenses were 0.3% of the total budget.

In March of 2007, the Executive Council (EC) met and revised the 2007 budget. Title IV expenses were increased to $300,000 for 2007. No breakout was given for the Chancellor, but the category under which he is paid (Office of the Presiding Bishop) was reduced from $1,673,113 to $1,636,999 for a total savings of $36,114. That's awfully close to the Chancellor's fee listed above. Additionally, two new items appear on the EC's budget. The larger of the two is a line entitled “Property Protection for Missions” (PPM) and the amount allotted is $500,000. The smaller item is “General Corporate Legal Fees” (GCLF) and the amount shown is $362,611. Total legal expenses were $1,127,611. As a percentage of the total budget, legal expenses were 2%, for an increase over the amount budgeted by the GC of 735%.

The November monthly statement for the Episcopal Church has just come out and there are some more interesting numbers. As of November, the Episcopal Church has spent $324,482 on Title IV expenses, $540,192 on PPM and $149,133 on GCLF for a total of $1,013,807. The first two items are significantly over budget, the latter is under budget by almost 60%.

Here's where I start speculating. I believe that GCLF represents what 815 thought they would have to pay Goodwin Procter based upon Mr Beers hourly rates. Mr Beers is no longer a partner at Goodwin Procter and does not have to meet any billing expectations any more. When the two spokes models for the EC said they were getting “extraordinary value” for their money, I believe this is what they were referring to. Mr Beers is billing far less than what the EC had budgeted. He's contributing some or all of his legal expertise to the church. I really hope they appreciate what a gift that is.

However, the year is not over yet and since the books were closed on November, San Joaquin has left the church. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see there are significant Title IV and PPM expenses that are about to be incurred.

Where is the money coming from? Apparently from the rest of the budget. Total expenses budgeted for the past 11 months should have been $47,615,973. Actual expenses have been $44,876,267, leaving $ 3,688,370. These savings are coming from just about every department and program. By comparison, this time last year 815 was $1,156,760 under budget. 815 has tightened its belt and I think they're accumulating a war chest.

To be continued

Friday Morning Palate Cleanser