Failure

Lately, I have realized I am a failure. I am a loser, a wash out, inadequate and more.

Perhaps some explanation is needed.

I've been reading some of the standard church literary and academic fare lately. As a result I've had my eyes opened to being an oppressive member of the patriarchy. I disempower womyn and suppress racial groups other then my own. My own church tells me this. I accept that I am such a naughty person.

But here's the problem. I'm not realizing the rewards of my oppressing and disempowering. Last time I ordered my wife to make breakfast, she laughed at me. She still snickers every time she thinks of it. I have totally failed at turning her into a meek, obedient slave.

As far as being a racist, I'm a bit more successful, but only a bit. I do oppress four members of a race other than mine in our house. I can generally terrify them whenever I wish. But none of our cats will ever make me a mint julep and far from feeding me, I have to feed them. Just who is the master and who is the slave here?

I really wouldn't mind being called an oppressor, if I actually realized the fruits of my oppression. But as it is, I'm a failure.